Much Love

Saturday was Wayne's memorial service and I have never seen so many people in my life all honoring one man. I'm not going to go into detail about the day but we just want to say Thank you to those that came and remembered the life of a great man with us. He will be missed by many!

Here are some pictures of Samantha with some of the family after the service.

Samantha was loving on cousin Brad

Laughing with Grandma Barb

Whatcha doin uncle Matt

Hangin with Grandma Pat

Great Aunties Evelyn and Kathy

Cousins Heather and Garett

Samantha Pics

Not a whole lot is new lately... I go back to work in 2 1/2 weeks... which is way too soon. But the good side is that I'll be working 3 days a week, at least through the month of June to see how it goes. Wed-Fri will be my schedule.

Sam has been doing great, although this morning she was completely stuffed up. I think part of it is from her cold a few weeks ago, and also because the last few nights she's been sleeping in her own crib, which means no incline for her to sleep, and the last two nights she's slept for 7 hours straight, each night! We know how lucky we are with her, and how much she's tricking us and we know the next one (years away) will be nothing like her. She's only had one incident out of our house. Every time we go anywhere people always think she never cries or does anything. Well, she still hasn't really cried around anyone, but last weekend at cousin Smith's birthday party we had a bit of an explosion. We've been using the diapers we got from all the bridal showers, the Pampers are great, and the Huggies work as well... the Luvs however are not our favorite... she was wearing one and as I was feeding her I put her up to burp and as I lowered her back down I noticed my hand was wet... she had quite a poopy diaper and it was all over my  hand, and a little on my jeans. Josh and I got her cleaned up and she never fussed for a minute. Luckily we were at a house where 2 little kids live, along with 3 or 4 dogs, and some cats... no one seemed to bat an eye at poop. I did warn Matt however, who I was sitting on the couch next to so he could remove himself before he saw the mess... he doesn't do the best with bodily fluids. Time goes on.

Until the next batch of pictures or stories to tell here are some pictures...

I think she likes her bouncy chair at grandma's!

Taking advantage of the fact she still can't roll herself off the couch

nap time

With cousin Heidi in from London

All dressed up to go to Smith's birthday

Love her shoes, too bad she kept kicking them off.



Happy St. Patrick's Day

Happy St. Patrick's Day Everyone!

Life in waterproof mascara

I just thought I'd post a new happy picture of Samantha before writing this entry... can't have an entry without her happy little face!

It seems like for quite a while now I've been living my life in waterproof mascara, as the title of this blog says. The last month or so of pregnancy was the most emotional one, just from hormones alone. Then having Sam was a bit emotional and the weeks thereafter the emotions were still all over the place. By the time I was finally getting  back to feeling like a normal human being, emotion wise if not physically... Josh's dad Wayne suddenly died. Monday, March 7th Josh and I had just finished feeding and bathing Samantha and were heading into bed when I heard Josh's phone ringing downstairs. I went down to see who it was and then the house phone rang... it was Matt, Josh's brother. I went back upstairs and saw the look on Josh's face and heard him say we needed to leave right away. Luckily we were all ready for bed which meant we had bottles ready to go on ice, all dressed, fed, and ready to hop in the car in minutes, even with a 5 week old.

We were out the door fast and got to the hospital emergency room as quickly as we could. All we knew when we got there was that things weren't good. Matt said he was walking on the treadmill and suddenly fell and hit his head. We were thinking he was knocked unconscious and was maybe in a coma or severely hurt... we never thought by the time we got there he would already be gone. Josh went in with his brother and mom while the nurse lead me and Sam to a private room so Sam wouldn't be out with all the sick people as she put it. I didn't know what to do in there by myself so I called my mom. Minutes later Pat's sister joined me and we waited together. Not too long after that Josh, Matt, and Pat came in and gave us the news that he was gone. Slowly family started filling in, and Carol and I tried to filter them in the right direction... giving Wayne's brother the news was not one of my favorite moments in life, but I wasn't going to lead him in having him ask and not tell him. We hung out in the waiting room until midnight. My dad and step mom joined us a little after 11 by the time I got a hold of them and they drove out from Canby. By then, Wayne's sister, brother in law, and brother had all gone home, along with Pat's sister Carol.

Josh and I took Sam home and didn't really know what to do. We put a Forest Gump in and hung out with Sam until around 3 am... then of course woke up a bunch to feed her and I got up at 6 to call Josh's boss and let him know. At 7:30 I called my list of people, hoping to get to everyone before they headed off to work so they wouldn't get that phone call while at work. I called Josh's closest friends from childhood, Jason, Dan, and Roman. Then I had told Matt that I would call people for him too since he had called all the family on the way to the hospital and was done talking to people on the phone. I called 2 of his friends and was officially done with my duties. Going on 3 hours of sleep the whole day was not so much fun, but it was more than the 20 minutes Josh's mom got.

We all went to the funeral home and did all the arrangements together before heading back to the house and seeing family that had come into town from Seattle. All week was full of visitors from all over and lots of food at the Berger home. In the end it turned out what had caused Wayne to fall was a massive heart attack. Pat thinks he was gone before he even hit the floor. He didn't grab his chest or arm, didn't yell, or even make a sound. His heart just skipped one beat and it was over. After he fell Matt did chest compressions and got his heart beating again for a couple minutes, but he was without breath for 5-7 minutes so even if he had lived he would have been severely brain damaged. It's a comfort to know he went quickly and painlessly, exactly how  he wanted to go in fact. Right after him and Pat had gotten together more than 37 years ago he told her he was going to die just like his dad, of a heart attack at 65 years old. Well he was 63, and as Pat says, they'll have a talk about that one day... he cheated us 2 years.

It's nice to think to that somehow I feel Wayne gave me high blood pressure when I was pregnant. (No, I'm not crazy, I know it's not contagious, although he did have high blood pressure) but without me having that, I wouldn't have been tested for preeclampsia, and I wouldn't have been induced 2 weeks early... giving him an extra 2 weeks with his granddaughter. Those are 5 great weeks we can share with Samantha one day. I of course wish I had more pictures of the two of them together, the only ones we have are all the same from the visit at Good Sam when she was born. Josh wishes he could have said goodbye, but I reminded him no one got to say goodbye... no one knew they needed to. I've said goodbye to loved ones knowing they could go anytime, and it certainly doesn't make it any easier to come up with something to say. We had seen him a week earlier, at Matt's birthday dinner, and every family function before that. Josh is a wonderful, caring, giving, generous, good hearted man, and I can say without a doubt he got that from his father. Wayne will be missed by many, but remembered forever. There are plenty of stories, and every one can make you laugh... Wayne had a great laugh, and that's what Josh will miss the most, as I'm sure a lot of others will as well. The service is going to be held at Bethany Presbyterian on March 26th for those interested, it is open to all who would like to come pay their respects.

Thank you to everyone for all your kind words over the last week, it still seems surreal at times, but we are coming to terms with everything.

Birth Announcement and the rest of the photos

While I have a quick second, I just wanted to upload Samantha's official birth announcement we mailed out last week along with some of the other pictures from her 2 week photo shoot.

These are from my wonderful friend Catherine.

One month photo shoot

Samantha got to endure her first photo shoot with mom for her one month birthday. It was the first of many! She cooperated for a little while. Every time I want her to be asleep for photos she wakes right up. Eventually I'll get some good ones with her sleeping, but in the meantime, here's her 1 month pics.

More Pics

No new updates, just photos. Sam is now one month old... I can't believe where the time has gone...

 Hanging with grandpa

All dressed up with dad

Check out my new shoes!

Dad thought they were magical shoes, I can walk!

Reece is getting more and more comfortable with Sam

I can hold my own bottle... as long as it's not full

Great Grandpa, knows the important things in life, family and a good beer.

After a ride in the car... sweatshirts fit, but the hoods are too big!